FEEDBACK

I have a pretty good relationship with criticism/feedback/rejection. My whole career is centered around rejection! It's awesome. But these articles were very nice to read, and helped me balance my perspective!

Overcoming the Fear of Feedback

I liked how this article talked about how fearing giving feedback is connected to ourselves, rather than hurting the other person. I find that to be highly relatable. When I'm giving someone feedback on the way they directed a scene, for example, I tend to hold back. I never strive to bring someone down with my feedback because I've learned that art isn't a competition, it's about community and (I like to joke) it takes a village to raise a child (the child being whatever someone is creating). I'm worried that my feedback will respond poorly on myself. Did I word what I'm trying to sell with elegance? Am I sounding like an idiot? Is this wrong? Do you feel like I've attacked you? I'm not trying to attack you please don't take this like I'm attacking you. I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE ME!
What do I like? This formula...

Cue - Receiving a feedback notification from a colleague

Routine - 1. Analyze the feedback,

                 2. Ask questions to better understand

                 3. Thank them

                 4. Strategize ways to improve based on your feedback

                 5. Set goals for yourself based on these strategies

Reward - Using feedback to reach the professional goals you’ve set for yourself

This formula will be very helpful to keep in my mind when I receive feedback, but it's also great when giving. It's a good frame of mind to think, "how can I help this person reach a realistic and tangible goal?"

This article really inspired me to be more goal oriented; it helps create real outcome! 

Why rejection hurts so much and what to do about it

I liked this article because, like I mentioned, I face rejection literally all of the time in my career. I assumed that would be my biggest takeaway from the reading, but it made me think even more about social media. There's a lot of pressure in my field to be very active and present in the social media world; sometimes getting a gig depends on how many followers one has. I know I'll get a pang of "oh.... okay" when someone close to me is thriving on twitter and I'm not doing so hot. Why didn't Suzy like my tweet but she liked Jessica's?! I always like Suzy's tweets! Why isn't my content funnier? Why isn't my content more like Jessica's? And then I delete the tweet and go like Jessica's.

I connected this article with something I try to practice. When I go to an audition, I go in and I do the thing. Then, if it's the morning, I go get coffee and for 30 minutes I'm allowed to reflect on what I didn't do and praise myself for what I did. After that 30 minutes, I move on. Let it go. So much of "getting the job" comes down to things waaaay beyond my control. You can't obsess over it or you're gonna go crazy. I'm going to steal the idea of writing out what I'm proud of post audition. 

Presence, Not Praise

I was really excited for this one. Presence is one of the biggest words of my senior year. I've spent a lot of time harping on the past or angsting about the future, so I wanted to really live every moment of my senior year by staying Present and, in turn, create a habit of practicing presence.

"there persists a toxic cultural mythology that creative and intellectual excellence comes from a passive gift bestowed upon the fortunate few by the gods of genius, rather than being the product of the active application and consistent cultivation of skill." 

This hooked me from the start. I definitely fall in the trap of thinking, "Oh so-and-so what just born that way. It's a gift." But rarely do I consider myself in that boat!
But the article is much more about how praise can hurt, and I totally get that. I was always a skate on by kind of student because I was able to. People affirmed that I was making it by just fine, even great! So I didn't really apply myself the way that I arguably should have. I had one teacher, in AP Lang, who wrote to me,
"You'll never achieve your greatest potential if you only focus on theatre." At the time I felt very defensive by his statement, but now I totally get it, and I'm totally paying the price. But his comment made a difference in my life. I've forgotten all of the "ooooh, that was such a sweet story!"'s, but I'll always remember his honest feedback.

 "Being present, whether with children, with friends, or even with oneself, is always hard work. But isn’t this attentiveness — the feeling that someone is trying to think about us — something we want more than praise?"

I like thinking of presence as a tool. I value spending constructive time with people, because that's when we grow to become even better! I think that it's definitely important to validate someone's hard work, but when it's earned. I don't know about you, but I can feel the weight of a compliment. When it's rich with honesty and genuine, analyzed observation, that is when I can take that and grow. When I'm being told I did well because someone feels obligated? That almost discourages me!

I also really want to read The Examined Life now!

Be a Mirror

I've had a fixed mindset for a long time. Struggling with depression and anxiety made me believe that I would never grow to be smarter, funnier, or more able. But finding mirror's in my life helped me in so many ways.
I like how being a mirror comes with steps. I really, really like steps.
Be Specific- very important to me, and something I'm working on all of the time.
Focus on what the reader is doing- A mirror cannot reflect something that is not there.
Focus on the process- work with what is there. It is enough.
Make sure it can transfer- this is also something I'm working on. I thought the example was very good, because it shows how wording is so crucial.
Take yourself out of the feedback- this one is much more difficult, but it also reflects something I talk about within the first article. It's not about me! It's about the other. A mirror reflects what is in front of them. I am not inside of your mirror, I am your mirror!

You can do anything good!
Dear Self