Thataka: A story of the misunderstood.

Thataka, misunderstood women of the Ramayana
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"Mummy, mummy!" Laughter, sunlight, a field of flowers.
"Mummy!"
A child's voice echoing through the land. A young boy's legs gliding through the green.

"Mumm-aaaahy!" He squeals as his agile body is swung through the air. He was called Subahu. "I've got you!" A warm voice squealed back. "And I will eat you!" A shrill cry escaped the boys mouth. "No, mummy!" "I'm not mummy! I'm monster mummy, and I love the crunch of little boy's bones!" The two laughed and teased until she fell down in a fit of hysterics. Together they rolled down a grassy hill, Subahu safe in his mother's arms. When they reached flat land the boy sprung up again. "More, mummy! More!" "You're too heavy for me!" The woman smiled, knowing that her strength could quite literally carry a heard of elephants. "You've gotten too big, my son. But you know what?" She dropped to her knees, coming to eye level with Subahu as she gently tucked a strand of long, beautiful, dark hair behind her ear. "You will grow up to be a fierce warrior, my Subahu. And mummy will be so proud of you."

And her name was Thataka.

~Time passes, Subahu has grown older, so has his siblings. Thataka has grown even more stern in her maturing years, yet continues to love her family dearly.~

"Ouch! You bully!" "You scrawny weak chicken." Several shoves were exchanged between the two brothers, Subahu and Maricha. Although they were older, perhaps they still lack maturity. With a rough smack to the head, Maricha became tangled under his feet and his momentum carried him directly into a nearby tree. "Boys." Thataka scolded, making her way up the red dusted hill. They looked at each other, brotherly rage in their eyes. After a momentary stare down, Maricha rolled his eyes, muttering something fowl, and headed down the path. With a smirk, Subahu turned and waited as his mother caught up beside him. "I'm just trying to grow some skin on the kid's back." Truthfully Thataka wasn't exactly opposed to her son's efforts. She had always felt that Maricha was too... sensitive. Too reserved. Where his picked up such behavior was beyond her. Subahu, on the other hand, acted in spitting image of his mother. He mimicked her vast shift in mood, her on-again-off-again foul temper. He honored and respected that he had the most beautiful mother in all the land. Just take a look around. The trees swayed to her movement, the stars sparkled in her eyes, and the sun radiated almost as much as her beauty. And they were a team.

When they arrived to the house, Maricha stood in horror. Before Thataka even stepped foot on their land, their property, something shifted in the air and her stomach dropped. "What is it?" She demanded, picking up her pace to a soft run, Subahu there at her side. Maricha blocked the door. "Mother, please-" with a great force she pushed past her son, causing him to be overtaken by her strength and flailed out from underneath the arch way. He wanted to protect her, he did. He didn't want her to see, to know, to experience the horror of what laid out before them. Thataka's heart sank as her knees went weak. In a beautiful display of distress, the woman collapsed to the ground. In front of her laid Sumali and Suketu. Her father. Her husband.

Dead.

A low groan passed through her lips. This groan came from the deepest pit of her stomach, and it grew, and grew. The sound passed through her stomach, and then resonated in her chest. Her face grew hot as a yell scorched through her throat. Her mouth filled with unspeakable sadness, unfiltered rage. Subahu stood in the door way. His face was the color of cherry, his eyes seemed both dead and electrified.

to be continued....

Author's Note:
I was inspired to write this story after reading Thataka from the PDE of the Ramayana. I thought to myself.... there has to be another side to this story. Granted, the Ramayana and it's tales are mythology. There's only one story and that's the one we read. But what if there were two sides? SO I decided that I would attempt to write some justice for this mad mama. In order to write this with some dignity I had to conduct some outside research of who Thataka is, at least how does her story begin? (my main source of additional background)
It was really interesting to discover that there's a lot of tiny changes in detail from story to story. In the original source, the two princes arrive in the jungle to find this hideous man-eater, whom they're instructed to kill. It takes some moral weigh outs but eventually they kill her. And that's the story. Big, ugly, woman monster. Dead. BUT before she was this creature, she was a very beautiful, strong woman. A literal blessing. She had 3 children, two sons and a daughter (I decided to warp the story a little and leave out the daughter... just too many details and children to take care of.). Her husband and father are cursed with death by Rishi Agastya. From there Thataka seeks revenge (her son, Subahu comes along for the journey) long story short, they're turned into demons.
My most difficult feat was trying to imagine how the whole curse section of the story takes place. Would Rishi Agastya simply flaunt out from the back room? Of course he was waiting for her but it would pain me to type, "I've been waiting for you, Thataka." Since I was roughly 700 words in I decided to pause the story there, but I would be really interested to continue! I didn't even get to the good stuff! But I would have easily surpassed the 1000 word limit in that case. 

READING NOTES

I'm planning to write a story about Thataka, from her perspective.

As a writer it is most helpful for me to jot down quick thoughts and ideas, while I allow them to develop and grow internally. 

Thataka
(additional reference: Tataka's Story )
"The sage led the two princes towards a dark and fearsome jungle haunted by numerous beasts of prey, in which dwelt the terrible rakshasa woman namedThataka, mother of Maricha. She was misshapen and horrible, and continually ravaged all that country."

Setting: jungle (dark and fearsome)
What is it like to live there? What creatures inhabit there?


Characters: Rama, Lakshmana, vishvamitra 
Plot: Explain how she became misshapen and horrible. Explore the past and provide exposition (was she once beautiful and cursed?) Why is she so upset? What are her reactions to the prince's arrival? What are her reactions to being injured?
Loss of arms
Loss of ear

Give her an internal monologue when she shape shifts.



-----

I like the idea of writing from her perspective, because I always tend to play mom's in the theatre. I'm currently playing a role right now and she's an alcoholic, single mother. I feel like these characters are always monsterized (made that word up, yup), and while maybe they deserve it, there's always a story. I like to read characters one way (through the author's intent) and then I like to read that character in the way they (the character) would like to be perceived. Because, if we look through her lends, she's her own tragic hero. I'm excited to take a crack at Thataka's psyche!

Growth Mindset

I'm elated to work on my growth mindset! I'm the type of person that gets in the way of their own growth; I build my own walls. I really connected with Carol Dweck's philosophy of "not yet". For whatever reason I am a slow learner and a slow processor. Not to say that I'm stupid, because I'm not. I'm actually quite smart, but I have to slow down and take my time to allow thoughts to flow in correct order. Because of this I really did think that I was, indeed, very very dull. When I get into a negative mindset, every part of my being shuts down. I seriously begin to believe that there's no way I could improve. I wish to be a natural at everything that I do, but that isn't realistic, so I've had to find a way to stay motivated and encouraged even when I'm not getting something right away.

My best example is stage combat.

The number one rule in combat is to be safe, okay? Safety first, second, and last... basically. But while you're being safe you still have to communicate an effective and entertaining slap to the face, punch to the gut, stomp on the foot, smacked unconscious with a chair... you know, things that just happen sometimes. So you have to be technically tight with perfected precision... but above all else you must be safe. Then comes the tiny details. Let's say you slap me across the face, left to right, and then a punch in the gut. The slap (on a scale from 1-10) is a 6, which means I must move my head first, shoulders second, and then the rest of my body follows.
 Also, I have to do the knap (the sound that follows a physical impact). Can't forget that, that's crucial. Then I need to specifically isolate and engage my upper abs, contract, and give a low audible response. Sure, okay, great.

As a beginner you make small mistakes, like punching too high or too low, not "cutting the chord", or just looking, well, a little awkward. You run into physical limitations (I really hurt my knee back in the day, so falling on my right side isn't really an option). Today I was in class and I just could not get a specific punch we were working on. My frustration was beginning to build, especially after having to sit out during the falling warmup because my body just wouldn't agree to it. Normally, I'd let it affect me, get in my way, and I'd overthink the entire process. Yet this time I took a deep breath and I said (out loud) "It'll get there, just not yet." 

That's a pretty lofty explanation for two little words, but I have a feeling that they're really going to influence my life in a powerful way.

Thanks lil cat, I needed that.
Laura Gibb's Growth Mindset Memes

 I'm really grateful that this class has an addition focus on mental health. It's a helpful way to stay in check and learn some new skills, and I feel that it's encouraging my growth as a human being. It's creating tools to allow new doors to open, to assist in breaking from mental restrain and into
freedom of mind. I am not my mind, I have a mind. With that mind I intend to create powerfully!

Starting the Semester.

Whenever I begin a semester I like to familiarize myself with my schedule completely. I take the time to know what websites will be of useful reference (then bookmark them for safe keeping), and then I fill out my planner with all of the informative dates on the syllabus. Because of rehearsal I have to utilize all of my down time, and I find it's much easier to stay on task when I visually map out my schedule (on the planner), jot down what is due, when it is due, and a rough estimate of how much time I need to successfully complete each task without rushing through and making the assignment feel like a burden. Once all of that is complete, I pre-decide where I'll be completing my homework. Second Wind? The library? At home? My biggest challenge as a student is giving into temptation of distraction, so if I plan every aspect of my workload ahead of time, it makes intrusive and distracting plans much easier to avoid!

It's the age of distraction, and let me tell you, I'm part of it.
Nurse Journal

Storybook Favorites

Lessons From Karma

 I figured that this was going to be, hello, a storybook about karma and perhaps lessons learned due to said influence. I was correct. The topic of karma was what drew me to the blog in the first place; I'm very familiar with the western idea of karma, but not with stories from indian culture!  The overall design of the page was very simple, and I personally believe the owner could have put some more effort into the layout... but I don't want to occur any bad karma by saying that ;)
 I thought that the use of a talk show host leading interviews with people affected by karma was a really engaging and efficient way of coming up with various stories, and all the stories had clear ties to various Indian epics. It was both entertaining and an effective way to perceive karma in our everyday lives. I also appreciated that the stories were contrasting- one karmic experience was negative and the other positive. I definitely can see myself writing about karma in my future in this class. I find it incredibly interesting. This was my first storybook that I read and it really excited me to see how much freedom the writer had in terms of creativity and thinking outside of the box.

Indian Horror Story

While they didn't really reveal much of what I would be learning about, I was drawn to this storybook because of it's ominous title. I had an idea of it being related to haunting Indian tales, and the blog's layout and design reaffirmed my assumption. I really liked this design. The main colors, image, and text font created an ambiance for the writing. It was a happy accident to read this storybook after having read "Lessons from Karma". I was given a very strong example of good vs. quality. Not to say that Lessons from Karma was bad, because that's not the case, but Indian Horror Story contained so much detail; digital hand written letters (created by the blog owner) as an image, photos that had been photoshopped to create a certain aesthetic to match the blog, and the writing was crafted with such descriptive imagery that I could imagine every bit of the story's setting. This person obviously takes writing seriously and I really appreciated that. They also incorporated so many tales in a creative fashion, I was both inspired and intimidated.

Gossip Squirrel (/Love Through Natures Eyes)

I affectionally named this blog Gossip Squirrel because that intro really did it for me. The design was very sweet. The colors used gave an earthy/loving/feminine tone to the overall blog and I found that to be very fitting. I really enjoyed the pop cultural reference to Gossip Girl and how this was the writer's way of going about the stories. I feel like this way of storytelling could have gotten old really fast, but because of their subtle commitment to the gimmick I found that Gossip Squirrel worked entirely. It was a truly interesting shift of perspective! It also simplified the readings without dumbing them down. I have a feeling that this author really had a fun time with their blog, it was a nice reminder of what can happen when you don't take yourself too seriously. Reading these storybooks really reminds me how little I know of Indian stories, so I'm very excited to familiarize myself!

Examining these (and other) storybooks has given me a very good idea of what works, and what works even better. I recognized that you can easily tell when someone has contributed a lot of effort in their story, their design, their concepts (etc.), and when the pieces have been put together last minute, or without care.  I'm a very aesthetically inclined person, so I hope to create a storybook that obtains a strong and identifiable essence. I really liked how much effort Indian Horror Story showed with their images, how they photoshopped them into being what that blogger felt was needed. While all of the storybooks turned out well and they each had their own specific golden nuggets, I was really impressed overall by Indian Horror Blog. Everything came together so well. I'm excited to begin cultivating ideas for my own!

A photoshopped close up image from the portrait of Yama

from Indian Horror Story

Reading Options

I've decided to select the public domain edition of Ramayana for my reading adventure in this course. I really like how many options are included when utilizing the public domain, like the "audio book" option. Whenever I'm reading dense words, or names and titles in a different language, my brain doesn't take the time to break down the name and fully comprehend the pronunciation. I just accept how it looks and move along.

I'll probably still check out the other copy of the Ramayana from the library. I really like how it seems to be in prose and I think it'll be a good challenge.

So, in short, my text of choosing is the PDE version, but I'm still going to utilize both options so I can really be immersed within the story.

~~~

Freedom from all Misery
Sun Salutation
theharekrishnamovement.org

I truly know very little/surface area information on all things indian culture. I was really into astrology for a while, and from what I gathered, Vedic astrology is rooted from Indian culture. I do enjoy a good curry, I practice yoga, and most of the guided meditations I listen to stem from Indian practices. I love the idea of karma, and I do believe in it but I'm not sure exactly where my belief patterns fall on the topic. I'm excited to learn much more about the origin story! I also might find myself volunteering in Indian (working with children of the lowest cast.) so to understand the cultural backbone will help influence my decision in the future! 

WEEK ONE, Story

"A diller, a dollar
a ten o'clock scholar,
what makes you come so soon?
You used to come at ten o'clock
But now you come at noon."

(traditional nursery rhyme)

"a diller, a dollar, a ten o'clock scholar"
From a young age the boy felt that he was destined for great things. Perhaps this was by way of his parent's grooming, for they believed that their son was a gift to the earth. While they had little money his parents made great sacrifice in order to send their son to the Diller School for Young Scholars.

"a ten o'clock scholar, what makes you come so soon?"
Due to his parent's busy work schedule he was dropped off early to the Diller School for Young Scholars everyday at 10:00. His grandmother would drive him daily, and he so cherished the time they would spend together. She would gently encourage him to value more than his brains, for he was more than that. He was brains, yes. But he was heart, and guts, and soul. He loved his Granny, because she saw the best parts of him.

"You used to come at ten o'clock but now you come at noon"
The boy's grandmother was beginning to forget. Forget to buy milk at the grocer. Forget to routinely paint her long, fragile nails. One day the boy sat idle on the front porch. The morning sun began to grow warmer and warmer as he checked his digital watch. 9:30 slowly ticked until it was 10:00, and then 10:00 turned to 10:18, then 10:18 turned to 10:45, and it wasn't until 11:11 that his dear sweet granny was seen strolling to the house. "What are you doing out here?" she asked sweetly. With a sigh the boy swung his backpack over his left shoulder and gently took her arm in his right. "Come granny," he said, "it's time to go to school." 

waiting for grandma....

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
"A diller, a dollar
a ten o'clock scholar,
what makes you come so soon?
You used to come at ten o'clock
But now you come at noon."

This old english nursery rhyme is a cautionary tale of the value of punctuality. It's a classic rhyme, so I wanted to put my own spin on it. I began to think about childhood and when a parent was late to picking you up, or dropping you off, and it's a situation completely taken out of your control.

The story comes from the nursery rhyme book.

Hello! It's me. (An Introduction)

My name is Cassandra Ciesla, and welcome to my little corner of this online classroom!

"You know what they say... when aunt flow comes to town you've gotta clear out the spare bedroom."
End the Sentence directed by Dan Almsley
(I'm not the Kotex box.)

I'm a drama major with an emphasis in acting, and I'll be graduating this spring. Maybe you've seen some productions at The University of Oklahoma (or have been forced to attend due to a class). Does Stepping Out or The Trojan Women ring a bell? As of October 2nd, I closed my first play of the 2016/2017 season, Let The Right One In (as Oskar's Mum.)

 I'm currently working on my first Assistant Directing credit for the musical, Next to Normal,  under the direction of Tom Orr, who is the head of my department and also the director of my previous play. It's been fun to hold a different position for the first time! 

A crew member caught a picture of my pre-show ritual for Mum.
I like to sit in her kitchen chair, smoke from the e-cig (mostly to make sure it was working before the show)
have a few sips from her "glass of wine" (water with food coloring)
and take the time to get into her mindset.
Let The Right One In
Directed by Tom Orr
Costumes by Lloyd Cracknell 

"She weeps."
The Trojan Women directed by Susan Shaughnessy
Costumes by Lloyd Cracknell
University Theatre, Helmrich School of Drama

It's an exciting writing semester for me, as I'm finally going to be trying my hand in playwriting. I'm very hopeful that I'll find myself really falling in love with the challenge of writing a play! For that class we had to write an artist's statement, and here's a little excerpt from mine...

(~by the way~ I'm super into it! All right, playwrights)

"I’m very curious about nature/nurture and how relationships impact people. Imagine the moment that your crush unexpectedly walks into the room- I am fascinated by heart rate quickening, breath rising, eyes dilating.  I love people, and I’m amazed that I will never get to live in anyone else’s head. Perhaps that’s another reason why I’ve been drawn towards acting. I want to bring light to the spiritual phenomenon that vibrates within our world; the things you don’t always recognize as messages or mini-miracles.  My audience is anyone who will listen. I hope that my stories can reach people from all walks of life- I believe that suffering and joy is found in each and every one of us. Your pain, which is probably different from mine, still hurts the same way my pain hurts me. We can find unity in that. I want to change lives, and such an aspiration terrifies me in a beautiful way, because it is a very big job and I’ll have to learn how to inspire such change."

After I graduate I plan to volunteer with a program called ASTEP (Artists Striving To End Poverty) and I might just find myself teaching acting in India! I have a deep calling to go out and heal the world in whatever way I can, but going on a missionary trip never really felt quite right for me. Finding ASTEP has opened up some pretty big doors, and I think having a global experience is just what I need to continue blooming as a person and artist. I'm very excited, and honestly, ready to take a breather from my career while still practicing my passion. I'll always practice the craft of acting, and I definitely want to establish a successful career in the field (which includes joining the Actor's Union i.e. Equity(theatre)/ SAG AFTRA (tv/film). They offer insurance. Insurance sounds so nice.

As for these next ten years I plan to travel with my career, volunteer in the states and overseas, and ideally establish myself in an acting company and then eventually either own/co-own a studio where I can teach acting techniques/offer private coaching. Playwriting has become a fairly new development in my life, and I'm ABOUT IT. 
The whole goal is to find a community I love to artistically serve! 

I suffered from depression and anxiety for a very long time. Now that I'm body/mind/spirit healthy I'm a serious advocate for speaking out on mental illness, and I'm learning how to grow that passion into something tangible. I'm very much open to whatever opportunities the universe throws my way! I received some advice from a professional in the performing arts community who suggests, "jump off the high dive and free fall". After this year I'll be in some serious free fall. Who knows, maybe playwriting or screenplays are in my future? Or directing? Clowning? Sketch comedy? Endless unemployment? A dog?? Only time will tell.

Anything else? I'm very much into essential oils and aromatherapy, talking until the sun comes up, paying people to listen to my problems (also known as therapy), mediation, and yoga. I'm really fond of mostly all cheeses. Recently learned that I'm most likely allergic to cheese, but that's not gonna stop me.

WEEK ONE: walking in the light of my favorite place

I'm quite the roamer, so it's difficult to decide the location of my favorite place. I'm also quite untraveled, never having left the country to visit cultures unknown.

Pondering upon my favorite places I considered the streets of New York, the dusty country road, or a peaceful lake underneath a wooden deck. Then I realized that there is one aspect that would make any place my favorite.

A sunset ON a perhaps dusty street? Count me happy
Equinox Sunset- NASA

Maybe this answer is a little bit meta. But I could truly be in any place, any environment, stuck between a rock and a hard place... look up, and be immersed in a sunset. A sunset tells the story of completion, the light before the dark, maybe even symbolic of a closing door. But wow, isn't it beautiful? Doesn't it take your breath away? Give you hope? Maybe to some it's just the inevitable sun going down, but to others, to me, it's a moment of peace and beauty. It is complete.

Someday I'll have some more favorite places to explore, and I hope each one is wrapped up with a sunset.

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