Reading Notes Tuesday

I read this story because I was really affected by the forest fires lately. I just read an article about the Ripley Aquarium and how they had to evacuate the area, but of course, the animals can't leave.

I'm going to rewrite a story based on the imagination of a fish stuck in the aquarium. The researchers spoke about how the animals have shown to be really calm and normal, so they think things are going to be okay since animals have such a distinct danger instinct. But what if one of the fish knew something was wrong? This also makes me think a little bit about The End of the World because the rabbit was the one to begin spreading the message.

I don't know if the ending would be, or could be, happy for this one...

Photo from the smokey mountain fires
    newschannel5.com

                                             




Twenty Jataka tales: The Forest Fire

Reading Notes, Monday

The End of the World.


-rabbit underneath a tree
-fruit falls, assume the world is ending.

---chicken little???

In a contemporary spin, this makes me think about when one little thing happens in our daily life and we overreact, assuming the worst. We try and run from the "issue" and no matter what anyone else says we can't find solace. Until we find the one person who knows exactly how to help us, and they talk us from "the ledge."


-a story siblings?

-trivial problems... high school aged.

Tracey Young Photography 

The End of the World: 20 Jataka tales

Learning by H.E.A.R.T- a conversation on memorization

So for this week's Learning by HEART challenge I decided to do some research on the topic. After some searching around the biggest topic everyone talks about is memorization.

Memorization is, obviously, a big deal for me. And actually, one of my biggest blocks as an actor is the idea of memorizing. I still haven't learned my trick of the trade yet when it comes to memorizing large chunks of text. Since this upcoming week is FULL of auditions, and of course I picked a new piece a week before hand, I decided to really track and try some heart technique.

The Timer- I tried giving myself 10 minutes to memorize as much as I could. This was an okay attempt, because the pressure of the timer forced to me really focus.
What I Learned- I learned that this is actually a pretty good idea! BUT it's more effective if I break down to smaller chunks. I can then make a block-by-block schedule and it gives me a decent idea of how much time I'll need to memorize.

Writing it Down- The classic "write it down" tends to trick me. While I'm writing it seems like I know it SUPER well! Then I get up to try it and there's a bunch of "ehhh" "uhhh" "um, I mean" that filter in. I've learned that writing them down on notecards (again, chunking the piece up) helps me think of the monologue as A, B, C, etc....
What I Learned- This is a nice thing for me to do before bed. I can't rely on it to get the thing done, but it's a nice way to cap the evening and feel like I've put some time into my memorization work. Can't hurt, right?

yeah, that's a real cute idea.
although, I do have some of them that do stick around...
Winter Springs Arts

The biggest thing I've learned during this exercise was the power of sleeping on it. I do my best, and I feel the most prepared, when I put in a good amount of work every day and then I have a good nights rest between them. I'm not always given this luxury, but it's good to know myself and know how I most comfortably and best work.

Famous Last Words, week 13/14ish?

I feel like this is a really appropriate time to make a blog about famous last words, because this is the last day of Thanksgiving break!

I feel like I was pretty productive with my break, which is nice. But at the same time I could have done more. Where is the balance? In my 3 1/2 years of college I still haven't found that answer.
I stayed in Norman this year. I never go home because home is over 1,000 miles away.
It's really surreal, this is my last Thanksgiving break. Weird...

I think the message of this post is concerning how everything has been, and will be, the first of the last.

Tomorrow I have auditions for the University's spring season of plays. My last audition here... ever.

The last of the last auditions.

I've been going back and forth lately about how I feel in my field. I really want to be serving my purpose in this lifetime, you know? I love acting, but sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be doing something totally different. I go to therapy, and I sometimes find myself thinking that I could see myself as a therapist... but then I think about how much schooling that would take, if I really want to do that, would I even like it? Then I think it's just easier to stick to acting. But then, if I think longterm, what if I have a really shitty career? Would I regret not trying something different now? Or if I try something different now will I regret not sticking with my dreams?

So I've decided to backpack through Europe this summer. I'll be gone for two months. I've never even travelled outside of the country, let alone by myself. But... I'm gonna do it. I have friends who are also back packing, and we're gonna do fun things like meet up in Amsterdam and then meet up in London to see plays on the West End and a show at the Globe. I need to take sometime to step away from this lifestyle I'm living, just refresh my mind and gain new experience and maybe, who knows, discover myself. If you've read my storybook, you're probably noticing a theme here.

I'm not sure... did I influence my story, or did my story influence me?

The beautiful Globe Theatre, set for an evening performance.
Wikipedia on The Globe

Growth Mindset

This week there was a Shakespeare seminar hosted by one of my professors. All of the senior drama students were invited to participate. It was a night of scenes, monologues, and a talk back with the audience.

Personal photo from the evening.
Lead by Alissa Mortimer, our wonderful professor in red! 

Now, Shakespeare is not my favorite.

Don't get me wrong- I love Shakespeare. You'll never catch me saying that his work isn't the most wonderful and advanced of all the dramatic text ever to be conceived in this universe, ever. But the truth of the matter is that it intimidates me! I'm not a sit down and study type of person, not really, and Shakespeare's work demands so much table time. I'm trying to teach myself to really enjoy going through the script over and over, etc.

So, anyway, I decided to participate because, deep down, I didn't want to do it. I've always been an advocate for taking every opportunity (because if I don't, I'll feel guilty.) but that's proving to be a challenge now that I'm a senior and maybe a tad bit burnt out.

Five of us volunteered. Two of my friends and I decided to do a really short scene from Twelfth Night. I was playing Maria and I had literally four lines. But for whatever reason, I couldn't memorize one of them. It REFUSED to come out of my mouth!

The main reason I have a difficult time with Shakespeare is because of, you guessed it, fear. I fear having to learn all of those lines and remembering them with upmost clarity. Over time I've convinced myself that I suck at memorization. I knew I was going to mess up during our performance. I knew it. I was trying to convince myself, while we sat waiting, that I was going to be fine. I've played Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing. I've done multiple MULTIPLE Shakespeare scenes over the past two years. There was not a single reason why I couldn't RECITE ONE SILLY LINE.

So we start to perform and, wouldn't you guess it, I totally blanked. I kept a notecard in my back pocket and pulled it out, but even then I was speaking gibberish. But you know what- I just kept going. I switched my focus towards having fun with the rest of the scene. But even later in the night, when I performed my monologue, I blanked on a line (luckily I just went straight on ahead because I KNOW THIS PEICE DON'T PRETEND LIKE I DON'T, BRAIN).

During the talkback I made a comment about how I don't specifically find myself to be a very strong Shakespearean actor. Afterwords some audience members came up and asked me why I felt that way, and we shared some dialogue similar to what I'm saying now. One woman suggested that I go back to the start, and that I simplify my expectations of myself. I had also mentioned that I've never really fallen on my face like that during a performance, and a gentleman laughed at me and said, "See! That's your problem! You've got to fail in order to realize that everything is going to be okay. Your students will return the next day and the sun will rise."

Overall, I'm really glad that I had that experience. It was SUPER cool to talk with scholars about Shakespeare and to do a few pieces for them. I'm also appreciative for my floundering, because everything is okay. This lesson taught me that if I continue putting this unneeded pressure on myself to be this great actor who can do no wrong, and can perform it ALL, then I'm going to run into this issues time and time again. I've decided to take smaller bites and work those to a place of confidence. I can, and I will.


"Some are born great, some have greatness thrust upon them..." -Malvolio in Twelfth Night

Tech Tip

This week I made a mistake while trying to edit my storybook. I accidentally made one of my stories a subpage, which meant that no one could find it! While I'm still unsure of how I did that in post-editing, I can help share how to make sure that doesn't happen!

If you're new to google sites, and you want to add a new story AND have it appear visibly underneath previous posts, do this...

Go to the top right, and you'll see a little gray icon that says "Create page"
Click on that, and it will take you to a new page where you can title the new post.
When it asks to put a location, you're going to want to click PUT PAGE AT TOP LEVEL.
To me, you'd think that would mean it would put the post above the first one. But it actually formats the post underneath the oldest. If you click PUT PAGE UNDER _______ it will create a subpage for it, unable to be easily viewed upon navigation.

Extra Reading

I had this video saved from a previous week. WOW! I truly loved it!

Watching this video gave me some ideas for my storybook. I really liked how they (the writers of the film) talk about Ravana. It made me think back to the start of the semester when I first read the story, and how interesting I thought he and his sister are. I typically like to take characters that are smaller or overlooked and try and utilize the freedom that is given when they don't have too much story.

I've been needed (and trying to come up with) a stronger conflict for my main character, Savanna. My storybook is inspired by Sita from the Ramayana, so I think that this is going to give me something to work with!

Lakshmi! Who also makes an importance apperance in my story.
Sita Sings the Blues

Bib:
http://www.sitasingstheblues.com/watch.html

Notes: Lakshmi

I watched two videos on the Goddess Lakshmi.

For my storybook, I incorporated the story The Banished Girls which heavily includes Lakshmi. Because Savanna is at an ashram and I've also involved the Bodhi tree (mostly because I love trees!), I'm considering on having Savanna meet Lakshmi in a meditative state, where Lakshmi is going to share wisdom with her.




Lakshmi: Goddess of Wealth
This story makes me think that Savanna can return home to the states and completely save her marriage, her mental health, and her lifestyle.

Lakshmi: Origin
This helped me brush off my memory of Lakshmi and her origin, which is really important for trying to write her!

Planning Post: Goddess Lakshmi meets Savanna

For this upcoming storybook, I'm planning to have Savanna meet Lakshmi in a meditative state. She will have spent 20 days thus far in the Ashram. I think it's important to also lay out what happens within an ashram,

While underneath the Bodhi tree, during her meditation, Savanna will experience something much more out of body when she finds herself sitting in a grass field with Lakshmi herself. In my previous post, Lakshmi made an apperance as I wrote about the story, "The Banished Girls." Through that experience, Savanna has realzied that she is very similar to one of the sisters in the story, who has been cursed by Lakshmi.

In my previous planning post, I wrote the final paragraph for the entire storybook. Savanna is going to realize that while she's not ready for her spirit guides or the most indepth value of meditation, she is going to find the value of peace and learn that Grace, her friend from the flight, is actually her "soul sister" if you will.

Lakshmi is the Goddess of wealth, fortune, and prosperity. She relates to Savanna because Savanna has come from a fortunate career, bringing her material wealth, but she has lost the value of what truly matters.  I'm thinking that Lakshmi is going to share some news with her.... that she's not going to return home to a job, but an opportunity to rebuild her marraige. There's a piece of dialogue that I'm thinknig of, where Savanna first meets Lakshmi and she asks,
"Wait, I thought you were supposed to have four arms?"


Lakshmi will have a clever reply, something about modern day meditation or whatever, but explain how Her four arms are symbolic of the four goals of humanity that are considered good in Hinduism - dharma (pursuit of ethical, moral life), artha (pursuit of wealth, means of life), kama (pursuit of love, emotional fulfillment) and moksha (pursuit of self-knowledge, liberation).

Savanna's artha is quite satisfied, but along the way her dharma has suffered, and her kama. But through this trip to the ashram (and because of her alignment with Grace's soul) she has succeeded to return to her moksha, which is restoring her kama and dharma. 














Notes on Lakshmi:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lakshmi

Growth Mindset: Nov. 7th

Today's growth mindset is, "Effort ignites ability and turns in into accomplishment."

I really needed this today. It's helpful in the sense of, well, I might as well keep going. There's a big showcase audition coming up and I've been unable to find material that really speaks to me and what I want to show. It's been really hard, because I'm actively looking all the time! I just can't seem to find it. But, I'm putting in the effort. So if I just keep at it, it has to turn up.... right?

A personal photo from 2012,
doing a monologue I was really into. I need some of that good juju!

Planning: One Flew Under the Bodhi Tree.

Bodhi Tree Hawaii

I was never a nature girl. Camping meant sharing a sleeping bed with rocks and dirt and bugs and aren't we told to watch out for those bed bugs? But my time in the ashram has changed me. This all started the night under the Bodhi tree.

Imagine the largest tree you have ever seen. One that you know can't be cut down, nor should it. Here the lion can sleep with the lamb, and I can rest with the ants. Despite there being various birds and creatures cluttering the branches and the sighting of roots, there are no droppings. Not in the dirt, not on the leaves. Which, frankly, made for a more comfortable me.

My friend, Grace, she's begun the sacred practice under neath the Bodhi tree. Her lineage is pure and she's been chosen by the lama, and in return given a Yidam. This Yidam is her guide through the deep meditation. I, on the other hand, have not been blessed with a Yidam. Grace, if you can recall, is a shining light in this world. When I met her she guided me here, to this ashram, to the Bodhi tree. I'm just learning, only just learning, what it means to turn on the light or seek a flame. Before, I wouldn't have been okay with this. Never. Competition is key.... was key. I was the star of the track team, an aggressive, ambitious leader in the buisness field. To not be chosen for anything? Impossible.

But, my time under the Bodhi tree has taught me to breath deeply into the ground. Root myself to the world and touch the waters of deep, deep knowledge. To drink in purity and exhale doubt, aggression, and disease. When I learned that I wasn't ready, I knew in my heart it was true, fighting it would only keep my soul trapped in the dark I so desperately attempted to hide inside. When I breathed in, "Okay" I exhaled, "Why not?" Releasing the negativity of my mindset, I felt the light from deep within warm.

I sit here, underneath the Bodhi tree everyday. For maybe twenty minutes, for maybe an hour. Grace comes nearly all day. I swear, when I look at her, she is a flame. A flame of knowledge and life and stories and other lives far beyond this one. She is a Goddess, full of flame.



AUTHOR'S NOTE:
So, this is kind of both planning and an actual story. This is going to be a type of conclusion to my storybook (heh, sorry spoilers!)
My goal was to help bring Savanna back to the Universe, and I used the story The Banished Girls, in which the sister returns to the Goddess at the end. I love the character Grace, she's wonderful. SO I'm looking at drawing the parallel there!


WEBSITE:
http://www.wisdom-tree.com

Reading Notes

THE BANISHED GIRLS

• two sisters 
• poverty- prosperity 
• worshiping a Goddess 
• Amuna- stops worshiping Goddess once blessed, is cursed. 
• Jamuna- has always worshiped the Goddess. Convinces sister to return. 
• Amuna returns to Goddess, no longer cursed. 

Sacred tales of India